I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
