it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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