and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
