Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i believe in u and ur pee
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