Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
