I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
