He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
