Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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