she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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