What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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