it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
