Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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