don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
