Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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