I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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