Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
