I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize