i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
