Yo dont text me then not text me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
