ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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