I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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