Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
