it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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