you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize