i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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