oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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