well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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