I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
