I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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