Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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