My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
