My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
