I hope mine doesn't look like that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
