i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
