elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
