Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
