bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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