I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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