The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize