Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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