i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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