Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
