I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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