Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she peed on how many people?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
