Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You ruined the universe
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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