Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
