why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
