I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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