yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
