Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
