I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize