I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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