i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
