I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
