we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
