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Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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