the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
