I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
