Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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