may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
