As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
