why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
