Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
